So, here’s the deal. I’m done with Facebook, well, for now. I just can’t handle it any more. I mean, I am doing it to myself. “It’s not you, it’s me” could definitely apply here. It’s about getting too caught up with it, becoming too nosy, creating meaning when meaning isn’t there. It’s just… an added stressor. It’s unnecessary. Which makes me wonder why I should keep it.
Everything stems back to making meaning when it’s not there.
Yes, I’ve gone through the pro’s and con’s. It’s an easy way to keep in touch with people. But, you know what, why should keeping in touch with people have to revolve around looking at their every move. It’s as though I am obsessed with what other people are doing. But what they are doing should have zero impact on me. I need to figure out how to do my own thing again.
So, that’s what I’m going to do. That’s my goal for this summer. I need to sort out my thoughts and remember what’s important. It’s funny because I love interacting with people. I think that interacting with others is important. I find complete joy in learning about someone’s passions, helping someone develop their passions, or learning more about mine through someone else. But, I think that I just need me-time. I need to refocus my thoughts and my energy. I need to remember what is best for me. Because, at the end of the day, you have to be happy with yourself. You govern the decisions and guide your interactions with others. Are you who you want to be when you’re with other people? I don’t know. I think I am. I usually I am. I just had it when I slip up. Those moments where I just…abandon everything that I believe.
Pathetic that when I just wrote that, first thing that I jumped into my head was the bundle theory. Crazy consciousness talk. I’m not getting into that again. This stuff haunts me.
It’s funny because, whenever I was put in the hospital, I considered the hospital like my break. It was my opportunity to recollect myself. It was my vacation. I need that again. Time alone. Free from distractions…well, distractions that I don’t bring upon myself. Or however I should phrase that (it’s late, give me a break).
I love remembering who I am. I love reminding myself of the important things. It’s all of the little things. The little things are the most important of everything. I think that I need the time to find all of the little things, remember the beauty behind the ones that I forgot about. Clear my head and become receptive of everything. Accept and embrace. Love. Live. And, once I can do that, I can remember who I am. What is important. Love myself. Remember that I’m worth it. Remember why I am worth it. That’s important. Because I am worth it. You are worth it. Please see that.
There are four things that I am absolutely sure of. I told I think only two people of them. Four absolutes. I’m working on expanding them. There are more. But these are definite. Unquestionable in my eyes.
- There is an inherent good in everyone.
- Love keeps you going from moment to moment.
- Genuine happiness does exist.
- You only know how you feel.
Find yourself. Find yourself in others. Keep loving. See the beauty in absolutely everything around you. Open yourself up for everyone else to love. Leave yourself vulnerable. Trust. Smile. Laugh. Care. That is really living. That’s where you find meaning. You don’t have to interpret anything to find it.
