I need to stop listening to the same music. It’s starting to give me anxiety.
Also. I’m starting to go through another round of “career crisis.” I’m going to be a senior in college and I have no flipping idea what I want to do with my life. Medicine. I do know that I want a life in medicine. But, I don’t know anything more than that. On days that I feel studious and investigative, I want to be a doctor. On days that I feel compassionate and loving, I want to be a nurse. I would say that I could get the best of both worlds, but I want completely different things out of both options. I honestly must not know enough about either profession because I get such a “black or white” vibe from this type of decision. I mean, they are two completely different paths…but they do have bits of what I want in them.
I’m afraid that I don’t make sense because it’s midnight and I’m tired (though, I can’t sleep right now). I’ve done some research in the decision-making involved in choosing MD or RN. From what I found–which, may I add is not much and not representative–a lot of RN’s didn’t want to become MD’s because it is too much money, too much energy, etc. And, a lot of MD’s became such because they like the autonomy. Well, great. I don’t care about either of those (right now). Right now, in this moment, I want to be challenged. I want to show that I care. I want to listen. I want to give. Super. You can do all of that with both careers.
I used to not want to go to med school because I want a family and because I want to be able to be there for my family. I want to be able to raise my family. Then, I thought that was stupid because I don’t know when I am going to have a family (let’s be real–I’ve never even had a serious boyfriend before), so why should I let go of something that I really want to do (ie, be a doctor). I shouldn’t. But, the question is: do I want to be a doctor and everything that comes with it? I realized that the best way for me to give back to MGH was the continue it’s legacy. Kind of like pay-it-forward. But, IN WHAT WAY? Why can’t I just have an answer? Becoming a nurse is in no way “settling,” so I can’t look at it in that way. It really just comes down to one question.
What do I want from my career?
